Friday, August 13, 2010

Link Takes a Load Off...

While perusing the expansive Charmant Cabbage selection at the local green grocer (because as you well know, I have an unquenchable Slaw fetish), I noticed, neatly stacked in a fetchingly pyramid-shaped end aisle display, Glen Plaid-imprinted Chubbies Brand Diapers. Now, I'm more than familiar with the usual kiddie character-festooned poop pants, but these were downright dashing! In fact, dare I say... they were truly... Dapper... Crapper... Trappers™!

My mind was a flutter with steaming hot corn infused potential! So I grabbed a pack of XL Chubbies (For the portly child), to take for a test run... or should I say test "runs" in my case, given all the slaw I consume.

And what cat doesn't get a bit perturbed by having to cut short life's more scintillating activities to visit the powder room? I know I do! So, now sportin' my new Crapper Trappers™, I can continue to charm that lovely lass, play a rousing game of badminton, or even graze at the snobbiest supper clubs, all in the knowledge that I can simply "let it all go".

Since the pattern matches my favorite sport jacket, I don't have to bother with trousers. Plus, it makes clean up a snap! I just simply recline on the Le Corbusier, or if out and about, a park bench, or billiard table, lift up my legs skyward, and holler to my man-servant Chatsworth to wipe, powder, and replace. Viola!

But as any ecologically-minded gent, I worry about these doodie dungarees filling up our precious landfills. So, I have Chatsworth gather and deposit them in a special brass repository on my penthouse veranda. There they come in handy on warm sanguine afternoons to hurl at my recalcitrant Beatnik neighbors as they sun bathe and play those God-forsaken bongos!

Score one for the MAN... the MAN in the diapers, that is.

CHATSWORTH! I made a stinky!

No comments:

Post a Comment