Cheers all. Well, I am most certainly having a truly delightful birthday. A jaunt to Frank E. Formaggio's for drinks and pizza with the gang, then home for a power nap before heading out again for round two of the week long celebration of ME!
I guess I should explain... By "gang" I mean the tykes whom I sired through the Upper Manhattan Thoroughbred Sperm Repository. Every year on my anniversaire, I gather them up from around the greater New York area, and force them to acknowledge the superior genetic material I graced them with... They appreciate that and the bag of game tokens I slip them as they bow and thank me.
Here's a snap of me and a few of the happy little Spawns of Link™. Oh, and Frank E. "The Rat" Formaggio had to bully his way into the photo. I do wish they'd launder those costumes. His stench of Faberge Macho Man cologne and Mortadella rendered a few of my offspring unconscious.
While I was sitting there, fanning my comatose moppets, and in desperate need of a stiff libation, I came up with the perfect Drink of the Week: The Frank E. Formaggio Birthday Boy Bloodbath. A take on the classic bloody Mary, but with gin, pizza sauce, sausage balls, and a candle.
5 Parts Gin
4 Parts watery, flavorless Pizza Sauce
1 Pack Hot Pepper Flakes
5 Sausage Balls
1 Handful ice
1 Desperate Birthday Boy
First, drag 25 children to your local two-bit pizza party establishment. Sit in misery for one hour, muttering to yourself and handing out tokens to placate the screaming children periodically. Pull out your Dapper Gent Survival Mini-bar™ (where the gin lives) and pour said liquor into plastic cup. Add ice. Stir pizza sauce and pepper flakes into gin until thoroughly mixed. Arrange sausage balls in an "X" shape by using toothpicks. Impale candle in middle pork ball and rest gently on top of beverage cup. Light candle, make a wish, and guzzle drink in one swallow. Cough up candle and prepare second drink...