Thursday, January 7, 2010

Hats, Lids, Buckets...

A hat should be tight fitting and angled jauntily at exactly 10 degrees. Any more and you look like a flesh-peddler, and less and you look like a Clueless Joe... Like yourself for instance.

I prefer chapeaus made by “Lord Kent of Canterbury”. He is a crackerjack haberdasher, who produces my favorite nugget cap: The Earl Umbridge Deluxe Trilby. Supple buttery soft goat suede with a brim lined with special Ecuadorian Pygmy Kapok Tree Monkey pelt. His Lordship only needs a tiny strip of fur off the brisket, but it’s much easier to simply snare and garrote the little buggers to obtain it. Apparently there’s only five of these monkeys left in the world, which is a stroke of absolute luck, since I just placed an order for five such hats.

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