Friday, January 15, 2010

The Dickey: Miracle Accessory or Harbinger of the Apocalypse?

What cat hasn't wanted to team a jacket or cardigan with a turtleneck, for that crisp, modern, Bing Crosby look, but fretted about all that chaffing if combined with a full turtleneck? I hear ya, Brothers. My nipples are mighty sensitive, just like yours.

Enter the Dickey™: The look of a turtleneck without all that extra fabric! Yes... the Dickey is truly a modern marvel...

Or is it?

There's a dark side to the Dickey. One based on irrefutably damning pseudo-scientific distortions of partial truths and heresay. The Dickey is in fact... an omen for the total and complete destruction of our beloved Planet Earth. Based upon on my studies of ancient Mayan calendars, after nights of ungodly Kahlua consumption, I have incontrovertible proof of Armageddon, AND the hangover to prove it.

By zooming in on a section of the Mayan calendar, one can see that the regal Mayan king IS IN FACT wearing a Dickey-like devise. That particular section of the calendar portends the arrival of the death god, Mictlantecuhtli, donning lime green polyester golf pants, a rayon argyle cardigan AND a snow white Dickey.

I rest my case.


  1. Dear Mr Worthington the Third,

    I have been having a pickle of a time trying to remove the Dirty Sanchez that was inadvertantly spilled on my brand new White Dickey. Only a master such as yourself could give the proper advisement on how i might remedy said inconvience.

    Tits McGee

  2. Well Tits (if I may call you Tits),

    'Tis true that a Dirty Sanchez can produce a most unpleasantly indelible stain. BUT... given that a proper Cox Brothers™ brand White Dickey is made out of only the finest Viscose Rayon™, a quick douche of vinegar and pure spring water should dissipate said stain. Salud!